How to Communicate & Connect With a Person Living with Dementia

Successful communication isn’t just about what you say. The way you come across matters, too.

• Slow yourself down first. Take a breath. Dementia slows processing, and rushing around can increase anxiety.
• Reduce distractions. Turn off TVs, radios or background noise whenever possible.
• Approach calmly and from the front. Sudden movements or surprises can feel frightening or even threatening.
• Be direct. Make eye contact; speak at eye-level or below; and use their name.
• Check the environment. Is the space too loud, crowded, hot or confusing? Calm environments support calmer interactions.
• Relax your standards. A person living with dementia can’t make adjustments. Changes are the result of the disease, not them trying to be difficult or hurtful.

Use simple, respectful communication techniques. And, remember, the goal is comfort and connection — not accuracy.

• Speak slowly and clearly. Use short sentences and speak to them like an adult.
• Make statements, rather than ask questions.
• Keep a manageable pace. Give one step or idea at a time.
• Be patient. Allow extra time for responses — silence is okay.
• Use visual cues: Reinforce your words with gestures and facial expressions.
• Redirect. Use a positive tone to shift their attention to something else.
• Avoid correcting them. Do not argue with them about reality. Instead, join their reality by responding to their emotions, rather than the facts.

What feels natural to you may increase frustration and distress for people living with dementia.

❌Quizzing, correcting or arguing

❌ Talking over or around the person

❌ Using logic to convince

❌ Rushing responses

❌ Talking “down” to them or treating them like a child

❌ Asking “who,” “what” and “where” questions

These responses can unintentionally increase fear, shame or agitation.

Behaviors matter in communication just as much as verbal messages. For a person living with dementia, their behaviors may “say” more than they can.

Repeated questions, resistance, elopement (wandering), anger or withdrawal often signal:

• Fear
• Pain or discomfort
• Fatigue
• Confusion
• Overstimulation
• A need for reassurance, control or connection

It’s important to ask yourself:

• What might they be feeling?
• What need could be unmet right now?

Repeated Questions

Understand that these are usually driven by anxiety or the need for reassurance.

• Respond calmly.
• Offer reassurance, rather than new information.
• Redirect gently with a familiar activity or comfort item.

Resistance or Refusal

Understand that this behavior is often driven by fear, confusion or a loss of control.

• Offer choices, not demands.
• Step back and try again later.
• Rephrase, rather than repeat.

Emotional Distress

Understand that these feelings are real, even if the cause isn’t clear.

• Acknowledge feelings first.
• Use a calm tone and gentle presence.
• Avoid trying to “fix” emotions.

Confusion or Delusions

Understand that perceptions may feel very real to the person.

• Acknowledge feelings first.
• Offer reassurance.
• Avoid arguing about facts.

Elopement (Wandering) or Restlessness

Understand this may reflect boredom, anxiety or unmet needs.

• Redirect with movement, comfort or connection.